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Drinking Again
I am drinking again although I never really stopped
But this time I drink to you or rather to your death
To forget the pain it brings me, to drown my sorrow
Although I know it's not right I can't help it
Even if I could I still wouldn't stop myself
A toast is needed to remember all the good times
To wash the worse times away, though they were few
Which was what made you special, your belief and kindness
Oh, you could be cruel at times and never let anyone walk over you
But mostly you had a warm heart for your near friends
Though they weren't many it was quality you needed and wanted
Now you have left us behind to struggle alone, so alone
Although I knew you had despair carved in your soul
I still believed we could make it through, smile a bit
Your death still shocked me even though I knew it would happen
The lies we tell ourselves to keep us from insanity
Now I must walk alone, be alone, where you walk I can't guess
Hope you're happy at last, found your peace, yourself
I drink to let you know I forgive you, I forgive myself
Soon I will be with you again, follow my own dream
I am drinking again but it will be my last drink, I promise
I've made many promises, broken a few more, this one I'll keep
I know by the trail of blood that leads from the fridge to my bed
I just had to get another bottle of wine to sooth the pain
Now I will sleep, although I may never find you again
I know this is the best decision I've made in my sordid life
One I shall have no regrets over, as usual, never again
Never again will I doubt, at least in this life